Edinburgh

Despite my efforts, I did not make it to church today. Which makes me really sad.

Yesterday, I hiked a lot and was very tired when I came home. So, I hurried and looked up directions on getting to the church, when Sacrament started, etc. And then I went to sleep.

I woke up before my alarm, and comfortably waited for it to go off - peacefully waking up.

Then, I got ready and reviewed the directions. I even wrote them all down on the sheet and made sure I had my bus fare ready to go.

After a while of walking (the stop was a ways away), I remembered that I probably ought to hurry a bit more than I was... So I picked up my pace. After a few confusing intersections, I found my bus stop.

Ten minutes later, I finally decided to see when the bus was supposed to come next. Then I saw it. My bus had come and went - less than a minute before I got to the stop. And it wouldn't come again for an hour. I thought leaving an hour and a half early would be enough time to get to church. Wrong.

Their meetings start with RS and Priesthood, ending with Sacrament, which is what I had planned on attending, so having the bus not come for an hour meant that I missed church entirely.

I found myself crying a bit. After my peaceful wake up, I struggled with going to church... I was comfortable, and I was only going to Sacrament anyway, was it worth the 3 GBP? As I thought about it, I began to remember how important it was for me to attend church, how it shapes my week and prepares me for the struggles ahead. So to be able to be there was painful for me.

I dedicated the rest of the day to watching the church's Bible Videos and CES Devotionals, I listened to hymns, and I prayed. I still am sad that I did not make it to church and I can feel the loss of not renewing my covenants - It has helped me wake up a bit in my faith and though I won't be at my fullest this week, I pray that the Spirit may still be with me, as I have felt it much more clearly throughout my adventures here in Europe. I am so grateful for repentance and the Atonement which enables me to press forward and become clean again.