2015 Testimony Goal

One of the things I struggle with the most is not wanting to bear my testimony in my church meeting. It's the meeting where members are invited to come and talk of Christ, their beliefs, and is generally fairly unstructured as far as who speaks and what they say. If given the choice between giving a talk and bearing my testimony in the testimony meeting, I would pick giving a talk every time. I just don't like having to think on my feet in front of everyone and be expected to say something coherent and meaningful. SO - one of my New Year's Resolutions this year is to write my testimony each month and publish it on my blog instead of giving it once a month in the testimony meeting. I firmly believe in sharing my beliefs and don't want to hide them but I need to find a better outlet for me to get it out there.
With the start of 2015, I am of course reflecting on 2014. Last January I had just gotten accepted to grad schools here in the UK, I was working full time, and was excitedly preparing for this year. The last day of January I quit my job (not planned), and so things changed. Until August really, I was working part time for two professors (one on a volunteer basis), and odd jobs like website editing, nannying, etc., and was really involved with my church and family. Not to mention figuring out how to move my whole life to another country. And then I hopped on a plane in September, made it through my first term, and finished out the year with (relatively new) friends in London.

It's been quite the year.

And all along it, I have been so blessed and watched over. I keep thinking of this conversation I had with a friend from my program, I was talking about how grateful I was for the church in my life. She told me I wasn't giving myself enough credit and that she believes I could have done all this without the church, without my faith, and it is an interesting idea. Obviously, if I was not LDS I would still have the capability to go to my school, like those in my program. If I did not know Christ, I could still be a good person. However, I am so grateful that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and that I have been taught my entire life to what source I can turn for peace, for direction, for strength - and that source is Jesus Christ. I am grateful that I do not have to go through my life without knowing Him.

Lately I have been loving a quote by Elder Richard G. Scott, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, from this last October General Conference: "Choose to converse with your Father in Heaven often. Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with Him. Tell Him everything that concerns you. He is interested in the most important as well as the most mundane facets of your life. Share with Him your full range of feelings and experiences." And in the few months since then, I have really made an effort to practice this in my prayers. And I have grown in faith and understanding. I still have a long way to go a lot of things to work on, yet I am beginning to see how to apply the Atonement and find healing. There is hope and light ahead.

I love, and try to understand, the words of Isaiah. My favorite theme throughout the book is how Christ pleads with us to turn to Him for healing and for strength. We have so much in this life that distracts us or pulls us away from where we want to be. For me, a lot of that is just inside my own head. Yet, as I learn to turn to Christ first, I find I am strengthened and enabled to act.

And to close this little blog post, is my testimony that the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is love. As I move forward into 2015, I hope to be more open to loving those around me, the annoying people, the meanies, and myself - because I am beginning to see how Christ reaches out to us and truly loves us. As I come to know Him, I feel of His love and can more easily share it with others and for that, I am truly grateful.